1) Erronious Anorexia Syndrome: Where your friends all tell you you're anorexic, but really they're just jealous that you're so thin and attractive.
2) MAIDS: Like AIDS, but for midgets.
3) Pyroarthritis: Where your bones feel like they're on fire because you've had such a long day at work, and why the hell is there so much traffic at 7:30 at night for God's sake!?
4) Chronic Aminodigylcacidicism: Too horrifying to explain.
5) MichaelJacksonitis: Where you are Michael Jackson.
6) I'm Not Mad, I'm Just Disappointed Cow Disease: Like "Mad Cow" disease, but only affects mothers.