Friday, April 10, 2009
1) The Inside Joke 3000: This robot will feel like one of your oldest friends once you program it to repeat all your inside jokes to you. With a handy remote control, the IJ3K will be reminding you about that time Keith stole the teacher's lunch every time you press 'play.'
2) Hobo-bot: Ever have one of those awkward moments when a homeless person asks you for money, and since there are other people around, you can't kick it and run away? Worry no longer. With the hobo-bot, your days of living with hobophobia are over. Simply attach the hobo-bot to the roof of your car, or carry it around on a sling to provide hobo protection 24/7. Whenever a hobo is about to approach, the hobo-bot activates and sends out a ultra high frequency sound that only hobos can hear. Hearing the sound will temporarily paralyze* any and all hobos within a four block radius so you will be free to stroll along without having to lie that you "don't carry change" on you.
3) Conscious-o-matic: Ever feel really bad after hurting someone's feelings? Few of us do. That's why there's the new Conscious-o-matic. This revolutionary robot will make you feel guilty about all the terrible things that you do during the course of a regular day. Right after you make fun of that guy in the wheelchair, the CoM will nag you with guilt until you feel so terrible that you wish you were never born, or at least hadn't thrown that tomato at the mentally challenged kid in your fourth grade class. Comes complete with sound effects of starving children for when you throw away perfectly good food.
4) Giant Robot-Dragon Friend: Is what it sounds like. Seems like it would be a pretty cool robot to have.
5) Pregnant Wife Robot: Never drive 20 mph over the speed limit without it. This robot looks exactly like a pregnant woman, so if you're pulled over for speeding, you can say you're on the way to the hospital because your wife is having a baby. Available in silver or metallic gray.
*May cause death.