Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The 8 Rules of Celebrating Christmas
1) If you did it ten years ago, you damn well better do it every year.
2) Don't forget to argue about what traditions you're forgetting. Arguing is an important tradition.
3) Drink eggnog even if you don't like it. Christmas isn't about enjoying traditions, it's about pretending you enjoy traditions.
4) No Christmas music before December 1st or after December 25th, punishable by death.
5) Don't mention gift giving to anyone who you aren't sure if you're supposed to get a gift for. Pray they do the same.
6) A song isn't a Christmas song just because it mentions winter or being cold. Those could be January songs, for all we know.
7) Utilize the back of the tree for those ugly ornaments that your aunt sent you, but no one is brave enough to throw out.
8) If you're quoting A Christmas Story, just say the line, "You'll shoot your eye out, kid." That's the funniest line in the movie, and people will appreciate your sense of humor when you quote it.